Step Four

Or as I'd like to call it, the one where I figured out that everything I'd been hearing in my secret society meetings really was true.

In the secret society where I got sober, we follow a course of action designed to help us recover from alcoholism. As long as we follow these twelve steps, we’re told, we’ll be given the proverbial “keys to the kingdom,” to unlock a life “beyond out wildest dreams.”

I know, it sounds like bullshit.

I didn’t believe it either when I heard it. But then I joined the cult and started drinking the Kool-Aid because all these AA people had a point, they had found the secret to sobriety and therefore the ultimate life hack.

I finished my fourth step last night.

It took a while. Like literally my fourth step took me three and a half years, because that’s how long it took me to get sober.

As you can imagine, I’m feeling pretty relieved/grateful/tired. So I’m going to take a break. Like literally I’m going to take a break from everything and only do things that I love for a little while. So you might not hear from me for a little bit, please don’t be alarmed. It’s not because I don’t love you, it’s because I need a break to figure out who I am and what I’m doing on this planet and who my authentic self is. In order to do that I need to totally detox everything from my life that isn’t 100% authentic. Including social media.

Wait, you’re saying, this girl right here is telling me she’s giving up social media? No, I am not giving up social media. I literally cannot afford to give up social media, it is my livelihood. BUT I am saying no to sharing every last fucking exhausting detail of my life on social media when I want to. Instead, when I go to create a piece of content for my profile, I’m going to ask myself if I’m willing to post it on social media.

If the answer to “am I willing to post this on social media?” is yes, then great! You guys get to see it. If the answer is “no,” then sorry, none for you. And I’m not being a bitch by doing this. I’m setting a healthy boundary. Besides, how many pictures of Jax could you people possibly want?

Now if you’ll excuse me, Jax and I are long overdue for a nap.