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Amanda Ayako


Victory Lap
2026 is here, and I am here to gloat. This year, after two years of abysmally failing to fulfill my resolution to write more, I actually did it. I actually achieved my New Year's resolution and wrote more. Some days it was a paragraph. Some days, it was just opening the document and not running away. I didn't write every day, but I wrote. Little by little. You didn't see much of it... not here, at least. Yes, I published a few more blogs, but let's be real, the publishing

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O Christmas Tree
We decorated our Christmas tree last night. There, in our shared home, Blake and I hung up the lights, bulbs, trinkets, and ornaments from our travels. I don’t know when we started this habit, but we’ve collected Christmas ornaments and coasters from places we’ve visited over the years. Like the tiny little teapot from Fortnum and Mason, where we had High Tea in London over the summer. And then there are the ornaments that carry heavier memories, the ones we picked up along t

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Apprehension
I used to write like I had nothing to lose. Then I lost everything. And I became apprehensive.

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Drinking dreams
I have drinking dreams sometimes Drinking nightmares, I call them. They’re dreams in which I take a drink and all hell ensues. Actually,...

amandaayakoota
Jan 14, 20232 min read


What's Next?
As I look ahead, my greatest priority is continuing the critical work I've been doing on myself.

amandaayakoota
Oct 1, 20216 min read


My Story
On September 26th, by the grace of God, I celebrated one year of continuous sobriety from alcohol.

amandaayakoota
Sep 29, 202112 min read


Dear Alcohol,
I am done giving up everything for you.

amandaayakoota
Aug 25, 20216 min read


Beyond my Wildest Dreams
Looking back over the past few weeks, I can’t help but stand dumbfounded in awe of how lucky I am and how blessed I’ve been.

amandaayakoota
Jul 16, 20214 min read


Work from Rest
It has been a while. A long while filled with vacation, pneumonia, existential crises, soul-searching, self-discovery and a sh*t ton of ice

amandaayakoota
Jul 14, 202111 min read


Gratitude
Having spent the last week surrounded by family, love and sunshine, I can’t help but be overwhelmed with gratitude.

amandaayakoota
May 24, 20215 min read


Asian, Anonymous
Why are there so few Asians in recovery?

amandaayakoota
Apr 30, 20217 min read


The Truest Most Beautiful Life
What is the truest most beautiful life you can imagine? It’s a question Glennon Doyle poses in her book “Untamed.” A book which I first...

amandaayakoota
Apr 28, 20213 min read
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